Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Two Lives That Decided to Live


A day before today, 16 years ago, my husband and I were signing the final papers on our first home. We ran from here to there, making sure all those important details were done; getting the power turned on and changing our address. This all happened in the eleventh hour. We were to be out of my childhood farm house the very next day. My parents had sold it and the new owners were moving in.

I was starting to feel a little discomfort in my ever-growing belly and thought...‘this is going to be easy. I can do this. I'm strong and healthy’. The last night I would ever sleep in my childhood home is the night the rest of my life began.  Childhood was over.

It started to storm and the pains in my belly increased. My husband called our midwife and we timed my contraction. She suggested we stay at home and do most of my laboring there. The storm continued as did the one inside of me.

Early the next morning the contractions told us it was time to go. The only easy part about Emma was raising her. But I would do that birth all over again knowing I’d have the daughter I do today.

Not many of you know but she and I were very close to not making it. It was a scary moment for all those who were assisting us. I only remember a few things in that fog. I remember my midwife yelling to me, “Talk to your baby! Talk to your baby!” They had taken her away and they were all around her working on my new creation. I saw little pieces of her, an arm, a leg. I called out to her, not understanding why but obeying. “Emma…Emma…Mommy is here.”

Thankfully the midwives were full of knowledge and got her little heart going and got her breathing. Then one looked over at me. I remember fading.  I can still see myself in a room, seeing it all.  Seeing me, my baby and my husband. I remember seeing the midwives. I was there and I wasn’t. I was happy and calm. There was some loving force surrounding me. Someone from somewhere was with me. She/He was reminding me I was new a mom. That I had always dreamed of this moment. The day had come. I was there living it. Everything seemed so innocent and peaceful.

I won’t go into details of what happened next because sharing it might chase the peace away but know that through it, I was calm. Someone was holding my hand. Someone was talking to me. It might have been my husband but through him some other force was there too.

I think I would have been okay about leaving this world if she would have come with me. It wasn’t our time though. I was released back into the world because I was to be a mother on earth and my first born had a mission to fulfill. I had to help her do it. Emma is living it. She is an amazing young lady. More than I could ever be. Her soul is of a tortoise or wise owl. It’s full of knowledge and perception. She will continue to lead and bring light wherever she steps. She is my constant calming force.

The farm is sold, my childhood is over but with my daughter my life began 16 years ago.

Happy Birthday my little Emma. You are now 16! I cannot believe it!  You have given me 16 years of joy, laughter and proud moments. How my life would be empty without you. And, no, you may not move to Europe. But you know you have my support if that is where the winds carry you.  I LOVE YOU!!! 



10 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. When I had my second son they gave the choice of me or him but I got this sense of calm and somehow we both got through. My life wouldn't be the same without him. Congratulations on 16 years of a loving family. You are a lucky lady. :)

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  2. Thanks, Krista! It's amazing what children do to our lives and the blessings they bring. It's hard at times being a mom but the hardest part is watching them grow and letting the go.

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  3. What a blessing our children are to us and what an honor God has given us to have the privilege of raising them. It's amazing how they touch our lives and how much the better we are for having them in it. Thank you for celebrating your beautiful daughter with us. Happy sweet 16 Emma! Hope it's the best!

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    1. Thanks so much for you sweet comment. You are right, we do come out better because of them. How blessed we are that a loving Heavenly Father entrust us with such beautiful souls to raise.

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  4. Two beautiful girls, living a beautiful life told through a beautiful narrative.

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    1. Oh, you! Thanks so much for visiting and your sweet comment. Without you, this blog would have never happened. Thanks for being such a loving and supportive father to our children and the best husband ever to me!

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  5. That was such a sweet and touching story! Thank you for sharing ♥

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    1. Thanks for visiting and your sweet words, Christy!

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  6. What an amazing and sweet story! Thank you for sharing it. Such a great reminder of how precious our children are, and what a blessing it is for us to get to raise them!

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    1. Thanks so much, Jenn! Life would be so empty if we didn't it away to the ones we love the most. I love being a mom <3

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